Suffering with Others

I can’t say I’m perfect, or anything resembling perfection. But one characteristic I do possess, I suffer with others. I see other people, people I don’t like, people who I disagree with – get knocked down, and I want to help them back up. I know I need to help them back up. I know they are being given a test, and if I help them, they might learn the lesson. When I fall, I want to suffer alone. I always try to blame myself, though I among my faults, I can’t always refrain from complaints, from excuses, from pointing. But I try to blame myself, even if its a case of misplacing trust in others, even if its zero sum costs, even if its a no win scenario, and counterparts are flailing and worsening our situation. I know I can steady, I know I can steer, I know I can lead, I know I can take the burden.

I’ve always been strong, I’ve always been challenged to grow stronger, and I’ve always benefited from being given the short straw. I try to show other people, but the tests are for other people. They may need to be seared by the stove, they may need to be cast into darkness, they may need to pick themselves up, they may miss the lesson if I won’t let them fail. It’s difficult to watch, its difficult to know when to step in, when to get burned on someone else’s behalf. But what about burning? How do I make precise decisions, how do I shepherd a flock with problematic, wayward sheep.

I have to listen. I have to use my counterparts. I have to balance opinions, and I have to accept truths.